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A letter to my pre-teen daughter.
Lisa Marie, October 23, 2020
If I can be honest, I'm struggling with the idea of you growing up.

I'm trying my best to prepare you because as you've said yourself, '12 is hard' and you're right sweet girl, it is.
I remember the days where I couldn't keep up with all the changes and emotions. What you're going through is inevitable. Random spouts of crying, unsure why there are so many feelings at once - I can assure you that as weird as it sounds, it's normal.
There are a few things that I need you to know.
You are my best friend.
Our relationship is evolving and I feel my role as a mother is constantly changing. You're my first born and you don't know this yet but at 19 years old you molded me. I was young and oblivious, but I grew up fast and with you by my side. I was a kid raising a kid and we were and still are growing up together. I have multiple best friends but our relationship is different, I've known you from the very beginning and that is something special.
Stay weird, please. You are unique and you have embraced your cute quarks, they are my favorite things about you. Please, don't change for anyone and stay true to yourself. I know my authority on a few things has lessened, I miss the girly dresses but you created a style of your own and you own it. You've said that your weirdness is your favorite thing about yourself. Again, own it girl.
You are worthy. As you maneuver middle school and all the things associated with it, there will be days where you will question so many things. I'll be there to encourage and remind you that you're worthy, loved and appreciated. Your task is to remember that and believe it.
I know there are days where you lose your patience with me, quite frankly, I lose my patience too. That's because even though I was once your age, this is a new era and you're going through things a little differently. We're learning together and we'll figure it out together.
I know there are days where the pictures are forced and you just want to look away. I love your smile, don't look away. I can do better, just give me that smile.
I know there are days where I embarrass you with my 'old' music or silly dance moves. I'll do better, but I want you to embrace my weirdness too. Maybe we can even do a TikTok together? I'm willing!
I love you Caydence and I love growing up with you.
xo,
mom
-lisa marie